Christmas

It has been an emotional last 2 weeks. I started estrace and progesterone for 14 days to jump start my period. It was also Christmas week. I went to work on fri before Christmas to find out a friends son pass away from cancer at the age of 16. I burst into tears. I cried all day. Hold it together on the job then cried during every break. Then Christmas eve a guy in another shift left early so he can be there for his sons first Christmas. He was killed by a drunk driver. Found out yet again at work. Shed a few tears but not all day like fri.
I am waiting for my period I haven't had one in 5 years. It's not going to be pretty :'(

I had a nice Christmas considering everything that happened. I got a t shirt that said All I want for Christmas is a bun in the oven. I got the green socks for myself and mom got me a smurf. Theres a funny thing about the smurf when I am taking the estrace next month at some point I will be inserting it vaginally and they always call it the smurf because you ooze blue down there.lol

GGGRRRRR

I have a fertility condition that I have had from birth and my insurance won't pay for anything. I went to my gyn to get the blood work done as a non infertility codes and she said no. I have been going to her for years and she couldn't help me when I needed her. I have one more chance with my arthritis Dr to get the stuff done before I have to pay out of pocket for everything. The RE wants to charge $1400 for the hsg test. I just want to get pregnant!!!

waiting waiting waiting

I hate waiting!!! I have to wa it for the for the packet with the scripts for blood work for the fda required tests for ivf. And the paperwork to sign for the transfer. It better get here today ir I'm going there to pick it up myself. I want to get blood work done on mon. Did I say I hate waiting.

pain

I went to a chiropractor yesterday to see if they can start the process on recovery of my back. It was uncomfortable but not painful. But today it hurts and spasming. I canceled the acupuncture appointment because it was in someones apartment and I freaked when I was getting directions. I have an appointment with a more reputable place on tue. I am going to do what ever I can to be healthy for the pregnancy. I have a bad back and afraid of what is going to happen if I do get pregnant.

Calling

I have been doing a lot of calling to get everything together for me to start. I have been on the phone all morning leaving messages. I found out the gyn office faxed my chart to the clinic last week. I called the clinic the embryos are at to get the forms to have them shipped. I called the clinic here to see if I can start the meds now or do I have to wait till everything gets there. I want to start now!!! I have an issue about the embryos being delivered can’t send it this week because it has to go out on Mon or Tue and can’t do it this week because it’s Tue already. Next week is iffy becauseit’s Thanksgiving and if I wait till the following week it falls under the holiday shipping rush. Hopefully it can be worked out with my babies getting here still intact.

New Dr

I have a new Dr to talk about what my options are. I have been to the office before but with a different Dr. Dr C says I can get pregnant and I can even use my own eggs if I want. But I have 2 embryos and I can’t not use them. I love them and made a promise to A that I will give them every chance at life. I will go on the meds and everything but my insurance doesn’t pay for anything so I will have to pay out of pocket for everything. I am so excited to be able to do this on my own. I never thought I could do this before. I want to experience transfer day wearing green and having funky green socks eating McD’s french fries. I want the 2ww and peeing on pregnancy tests. I want everything normal people want like ultrasounds, heartbeats and finding out if it’s a girl or a boy or both.lol I am going to do all that!!!!!

my life

I have Kallmann Syndrome. It is a genetic disorder where my hypothalamus doesn’t work. I have no senseof smelland neverwent through puberty. I was diagnosed when I was 20 years old. I went on birth control and that was it. No other testing or anything I can’t have babies so adopt. That has been with me my entire life. I am 39 now and want a baby more than anything. I tried the surrogacy thing but don’t have enough money to do it. I went through some bad experiences and some good but never getting what I really wanted. I did find another mom that had some embryos left from her surrogacy. She wanted a loving mom to take care of her babies. I was chosen out of 75 couples.I used 2 of them with a surrogate that didn’t work. I cried for a week over that one. I ended it with her and have been debating what to do with the other 2 embryos.

Welcome to my life

I am starting this blog for me. I have been through a lot to get here. Many surrogates, lost embryos, and the pain of infertility. I am going to try this myself. I started a blog on wordpress didn't like tge format so bringing the posts here to start.